It’s fascinating that there’s such a strong inclination to feel bad for accused men and not the accusers.
In cases where people have made accusations of actual wrongdoing, I do feel bad for the accusers.
But in cases like Aziz Ansari and now Patrick Brown? No, I don't feel sorry for the accusers. What am I supposed to feel bad about? They had a disappointing date? Boo hoo. They were bought alcohol? Boo hoo. A man tried to initiate a sexual encounter when they were sitting on his bed? Boo hoo! Holy shitsnacks. If you don't want an intimate encounter with a man, don't go home with him and sit down on his bed!
****! It's not complicated!
No, I absolutely don't feel sorry for these women. And I do feel sorry for Ansari and Brown who have suffered grave harm from what is essentially nothing more than gossip. Even if every word from these "accusers" is absolutely true, Brown and Ansari have done nothing wrong.
I absolutely do support real victims, like the women Jian Ghomeshi serially harassed at CBC, and the numerous victims of Harvey Weinstein and men like him.
And that's why these new stories-- Brown or Ansari-- have annoyed me so much. Because unlike the other cases, the "accusations" against Ansari and Brown are just gossip. They have no merit. They're a sign that the movement is indeed turning into what Catherine Deneuve warned against, which is a puritan pogrom. This movement is too important to let it shoot itself in the knee by embracing utterly trivial crap that belongs on the gossip page and not the front page news.
-k