They usually get the message when I walk away and refuse to engage.
Fair enough; that has been my reaction in the past too. But perhaps I'm a little less blase because on one occasion when something like that happened to me, the boss simply told the rest of the staff a different story, resulting in a workplace so uncomfortable for me that I left. I'd said nothing about the incident, by the way. This was before there was any recourse for harassment at work.
So why should women object to being called "yummy" in an elevator by her male colleague or boss, or even a stranger? Because it's demeaning. It implies that regardless of a woman's professional accomplishments, she essentially exists for the sexual gratification of men. She is nothing more than a walking
****/breasts, and - at least in some people's minds- she should be grateful and feel complimented when a man comments on her sexual attributes.
I've said multiple times that I don't think a man should lose his job when he's behaved oafishly and I'm saying it again. At the same time, I'm also critical of the attitude that a woman who does say something about these minor actions is over-reacting. I think dismissing these women's complaints is tantamount to telling men that they don't have to do better, we understand and accept that they can't control themselves, that we are willing to be seen as sexual objects first and foremost, and colleagues secondly.
I'm not against complimenting, either. If a man, whether boss/colleague/stranger, wants to compliment how I look, saying "You look nice today" should be acceptable (though I know there are those who would consider this over the line). Even if he privately thinks I'm hot-as-hell and he'd like to do me all day long, controlling his outward expression of those thoughts is what should be the expectation. After all, they can and do so with male colleagues: no matter how much they may despise someone they are doing business with or working with, they are expected to keep those feelings and thoughts invisible. As a woman, why should I expect or accept anything less?
So how about if we don't just walk away - why don't we use verbal communication instead of body language? How about if we say "That was inappropriate and I want an apology" instead? How about if we make men responsible for their behavior, immediately and directly? Because silently walking away doesn't seem to be solving the problem, and going to the media with the result of destroying someone's career isn't a solution either.
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