Author Topic: When can you smack a kid in the head?  (Read 229 times)

0 Members and 0 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline kimmy

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 3945
  • Location: Kim City BC
Re: When can you smack a kid in the head?
« Reply #15 on: September 21, 2018, 09:47:34 am »
What other point in history was preferable everyone else, then?
Don't get me wrong, I think the baby boomers were incredibly selfish and self-indulgent as a 'group', but it's not like the world is a horrible place compared to any other point in time.

Baby boomers are the only generation in our country's history to be more prosperous than both their parents and their children.

They came, they had a big party, they puked on the carpet, and they left without helping clean up the mess.

 -k
Masked for your safety.
Like Like x 1 View List

Offline Bubbermiley

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 649
Re: When can you smack a kid in the head?
« Reply #16 on: September 21, 2018, 10:13:40 am »
What other point in history was preferable everyone else, then?
Don't get me wrong, I think the baby boomers were incredibly selfish and self-indulgent as a 'group', but it's not like the world is a horrible place compared to any other point in time.
My dad had a 10th grade education and worked at a paper box factory and was able to be the sole provider in a family with four kids. They had a house, a cottage at the lake that they paid cash for, a car, and cable colour TV. Then the boomers came along and did even better. A kid graduating high school now faces a choice of either years of post-secondary school leading to extravagant student loan debt and iffy prospects afterward, or they can choose a lifetime of servitude in a low-paying job where they can barely support themself, nevermind a family. I think they would disagree that the world is just as good as it ever was.

Offline BC_cheque

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1068
Re: When can you smack a kid in the head?
« Reply #17 on: September 21, 2018, 10:34:02 am »
Pretty shitty of you to shame people without children. You know there's a lot of people who can't physically have kids, right?

I never shamed people without children.  I shamed people without children who get all judgy about something they have never done.

Double if they think violence is the answer.

Offline BC_cheque

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1068
Re: When can you smack a kid in the head?
« Reply #18 on: September 21, 2018, 10:37:17 am »
We might not all have kids of our own, but we've all had parents.  And most of us had parents who'd never tolerate us acting the way some of these little terrors are allowed to behave.

 -k

Everyone I know who feared their parents does not have a good relationship with them as an adult.

There are other ways to set boundaries and exert authority than violence and anyone who think the world is eff-ed up because we don't smack our children enough is an idiot who has no idea what parenting is about.

Offline wilber

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5626
Re: When can you smack a kid in the head?
« Reply #19 on: September 21, 2018, 10:44:19 am »
How old was this kid? Looks old enough to know better.

I would never hit a kid in the head but mine certainly weren't above a rare slap on the ass as an attention getter when they got out of control. Fortunately it was a rare occurrence because I probably felt worse after than they did. I don't feel the need to tell others how to parent but do have a problem with those who just ignore their kids when they are out of control in public and being a general PITA to other people. Mine would have never got away with it and neither would I when I was a kid. Parenting is something everyone learns on the job and it is a lot harder than most people think. We've been very fortunate with the way our kids turned out but looking back, there are certainly things I would have done differently.
"Never trust a man without a single redeeming vice" WSC

Offline SirJohn

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5801
Re: When can you smack a kid in the head?
« Reply #20 on: September 21, 2018, 12:05:22 pm »
I never shamed people without children.  I shamed people without children who get all judgy about something they have never done.

Hey! Your bridge fell down the day after you built it!"
"Are you an engineer?"
"No."
"Well then, you have no right to criticize."
"When liberals insist that only fascists will defend borders then voters will hire fascists to do the job liberals won't do." David Frum

Offline SirJohn

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5801
Re: When can you smack a kid in the head?
« Reply #21 on: September 21, 2018, 12:20:36 pm »
My dad had a 10th grade education and worked at a paper box factory and was able to be the sole provider in a family with four kids. They had a house, a cottage at the lake that they paid cash for, a car, and cable colour TV.

But taxes were really, really low then. Because there were no public pensions, and very, very little in the way of other social services. Also, health care costs were far lower since we had almost none of the expensive high-tech stuff we have now. Half the population mostly didn't work, which led to that old supply/demand rule on wages. And he didn't have to compete with workers in China or India or automation. He probably wasn't paying anything for cell phone service or to his internet provider, or for multi tiered cable. Electricity was dirt cheap, as was gasoline, as was insurance. Oh, and the population was half what it is today, so land was a lot less valuable, and you could find cottages really cheap.

Quote
Then the boomers came along and did even better.

The biggest crime our boomers committed was they were willing to take all the goodies people like Trudeau offered them, but unwilling to pay for them. They wanted the pensions, but didn't want to pay for them. They wanted all the new social programs but low taxes. When their parents had a lot of kids they built schools. When the boomers had kids they said 'screw that, I ain't paying' and let them use portables. The boomers wanted to have their cake and eat it too, and they stuck the following generations with the bill.

But... we weren't talking about Canada's economy or lifestyle but 'the world' and 'the world' is by almost every measure infinitely better off today than it was forty or fifty years ago.
"When liberals insist that only fascists will defend borders then voters will hire fascists to do the job liberals won't do." David Frum

Offline wilber

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5626
Re: When can you smack a kid in the head?
« Reply #22 on: September 21, 2018, 12:24:59 pm »
Hey! Your bridge fell down the day after you built it!"
"Are you an engineer?"
"No."
"Well then, you have no right to criticize."

I think she is right. You can complain about a kid's behaviour all you want but don't assume you know the answers.
"Never trust a man without a single redeeming vice" WSC

Offline Omni

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8081
Re: When can you smack a kid in the head?
« Reply #23 on: September 21, 2018, 12:27:33 pm »
Everyone I know who feared their parents does not have a good relationship with them as an adult.

There are other ways to set boundaries and exert authority than violence and anyone who think the world is eff-ed up because we don't smack our children enough is an idiot who has no idea what parenting is about.

I was raised by a single mother who could not afford to quit work so she made an arrangement with an old school friend of hers, who was married with two kids of her own, to keep me during the week. The lady of the house was very nice, the father a bit of a loud mouth and certainly a devotee of the "spare the rod, spoil the child" concept. My mom would pick me up after work on Fridays and take me to the grandparents farm for the weekend and then drop me off Sunday on her way back to the big city and work. One of those Sundays I raised hell, or at least as much hell as a three year old I could raise, stating that I wanted to "stay here with Nana and Gramps". They had already raised 6 kids, one of which being my mother of course, but I recall my Grandma saying "leave the boy here for the week and see how he likes it".  Well that week turned into 13 years and the only reason we parted company was because they were laid to rest within about a year of each other. The point I'm getting to is that in that new environment I didn't not step out of line due to fear, I tried not to (I had my moments for sure but no one ever came close to laying a hand on me ) out of respect and love for the people who helping me along my way. As a result I was able to happily learn how to bake bread or an apple pie from Nana and also how to ride and shoe a horse from Gramps. I know that kids can be a pain in the arse at times, the terrible two's comes to mind, but I've never crossed the line to raise my hand.   

Offline SirJohn

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5801
Re: When can you smack a kid in the head?
« Reply #24 on: September 21, 2018, 02:37:39 pm »
I think she is right. You can complain about a kid's behaviour all you want but don't assume you know the answers.

I never assumed I had all the answers. But if your kid has no self-discipline and no manners then you failed. If your kid is a whiny bitch you failed. If your kid becomes a Donald Trump or a Paul Bernardo then you failed.

And contrary to her opinion, the harshest judgement of kids behaviour are parents who have well-behaved kids. Because they look at that and think there's no way in hell their kid would get away with acting like that.

Now I understand the difference of opinion between parenting methods involving hitting and not hitting. But clearly, from this kid's shocked response, hitting was a new experience. So I would suggest whatever other method was being used failed.

« Last Edit: September 21, 2018, 03:41:05 pm by SirJohn »
"When liberals insist that only fascists will defend borders then voters will hire fascists to do the job liberals won't do." David Frum

Offline Omni

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8081
Re: When can you smack a kid in the head?
« Reply #25 on: September 21, 2018, 02:58:40 pm »
I never assumed I had all the answers. But if you're kid has no self-discipline and no manners then you failed. If your kid is a whiny bitch you failed. If your kid becomes a Donald Trump or a Paul Bernardo then you failed.

And contrary to her opinion, the harshest judgement of kids behaviour are parents who have well-behaved kids. Because they look at that and think there's no way in hell their kid would get away with acting like that.

Now I understand the difference of opinion between parenting methods involving hitting and not hitting. But clearly, from this kid's shocked response, hitting was a new experience. So I would suggest whatever other method was being used failed.

I guess from all that screed we will assume you are in favor of hitting kids.

Offline ?Impact

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2941
Re: When can you smack a kid in the head?
« Reply #26 on: September 21, 2018, 03:09:09 pm »
But clearly, from this kid's shocked response, hitting was a new experience. So I would suggest whatever other method was being used failed.

I don't understand? Are you saying that a kid shocked at being struck violently is a reflection of bad parenting?
Dumb Dumb x 1 View List

Offline cybercoma

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2724
Re: When can you smack a kid in the head?
« Reply #27 on: September 21, 2018, 03:14:04 pm »
I never shamed people without children.  I shamed people without children who get all judgy about something they have never done.

Double if they think violence is the answer.
If a kid is acting like an asshole in public and their parent is doing sweet fuck all about it, then I think anyone who has to tolerate the little shits has every right to say something, regardless of whether they've had kids or not. There are some really shitty parents out there.

Argus's assertion that we should be smacking other people's kids is ridiculous. However, there is something to be said about going out for dinner at a nice restaurant to unwind after a long week when the parents two tables over are letting their kids literally run around the restaurant screaming and climbing onto tables of other patrons.

Do you think the restaurant manager should have kids before they say something? Or do you think its the parents' responsibility to be a little more considerate of other people's space by keeping their kids in line? And what if they don't? When is it appropriate for someone else to say something?
« Last Edit: September 21, 2018, 03:16:14 pm by cybercoma »

Offline Goddess

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 817
Re: When can you smack a kid in the head?
« Reply #28 on: September 21, 2018, 03:50:54 pm »
I have found a phrase that works fairly well when parents allow their children to run wild.  One time on an airplane, the people behind me let their approx 2 - 3 year old kick the back of my seat non-stop.  I put up with it for a while, hoping they would stop it themselves, but after a while, I peeked through the seats and said, "He needs to stop now." in a firm but kind, neutral tone of voice.  I find that phrase works nearly all the time, because there's not much for them to argue with and I'm not making any comment on their parenting or the child. 
"A religion without a Goddess is half-way to atheism."
Like Like x 2 View List

Offline Omni

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 8081
Re: When can you smack a kid in the head?
« Reply #29 on: September 21, 2018, 03:57:41 pm »
I have found a phrase that works fairly well when parents allow their children to run wild.  One time on an airplane, the people behind me let their approx 2 - 3 year old kick the back of my seat non-stop.  I put up with it for a while, hoping they would stop it themselves, but after a while, I peeked through the seats and said, "He needs to stop now." in a firm but kind, neutral tone of voice.  I find that phrase works nearly all the time, because there's not much for them to argue with and I'm not making any comment on their parenting or the child.

I agree. I have been in that same scenario a number of times and applied the same approach and it seemed to always work. No need to hit anybody.