Author Topic: Sex Culture  (Read 1348 times)

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guest4

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Re: Sex Culture
« Reply #15 on: August 16, 2017, 09:50:12 am »
So, uh...

 ...my boss's wife had this idea that she wants to introduce me to someone.   This isn't a first... lots of people have tried to play matchmaker for me.  What's unique is that this is the first time someone has offered to introduce me to a woman.

I have had a strange tingly feeling for about 4 hours.  Not at the idea of meeting potentially a new partner. This isn't my first rodeo. It's different, hard to put into words. I feel ... accepted?

People I have worked with for a while and feel comfortable with know that I prefer to be with women... my first serious girlfriend even came to a company Christmas party one year. Nobody has said anything negative, at least while I was in earshot. Everybody is polite and tolerant and I even get some good-natured teasing from time to time. So it's not that I have felt negative feelings from my co-workers.  But this was different. This wasn't just tolerance, this was someone reaching out and acknowledging and accepting and supporting me for what I am, and it felt strangely wonderful in a way I had never expected.  A half hour after we had talked, I replayed the conversation in my head, and almost cried from happiness or relief or something. I felt as if some kind of weight had been removed from me. I didn't know I needed this in my life.   

 -k

This made me weepy, that such a normal thing for straight people would be so rare for gays. 

Two of my grandaughters date girls.  Both in high school, from small BC towns, one in the Okanagan and one in Northern BC, both girls seem pretty open about it.  That made menfeel good and pesuades me that acceptance will become the norm.
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Online Goddess

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Re: Sex Culture
« Reply #16 on: August 16, 2017, 11:14:09 am »
I think it's becoming more and more accepted.  My daughter is gay.  I knew long before she came out to me when she was 15.  At the time, I told her, "I'm going to give you the same advice I'd be giving you if you were attracted to boys - You're too young to be acting on sexual feelings right now.  Go to school, hang out with your freinds, be a teenager, enjoy your youth."

She has had the same girlfriend for the last four years and I treat her like my other daughter-in-law. 

They tell me that occasionally they will get a rude comment from strangers, but they feel generally accepted.  I have freinds that are male gay, and they receive more discrimination that my girls do.  And it comes generally from straight men.

I have always wondered why male homosexuality arouses such angry feelings amongst men......it doesn't seem to bother women as much to see lesbians.

I hope you meet someone wonderful, kimmy  :)
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Offline BC_cheque

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Re: Sex Culture
« Reply #17 on: August 16, 2017, 02:06:12 pm »
I think the reason female same-sex relationships are more socially accepted is because men find the idea of two women together sexually arousing.  I know the word 'patriarchy' is frowned upon these days as non-existent, but the difference in accepting same-sex male relationships is a prime example of how we take a male view of acceptance.

Fortunately, I've noticed changing attitudes amongst the 20 year olds of today where a lot of bisexual men are able to be out compared to when I was 20.  I find it very encouraging.   

As for Kimmy's post, it's funny but recently I was fantasizing about what would happen if I took a same-sex partner to my client's annual Christmas party.  Everyone at that office is in a long-term, stable, heterosexual marriages (no divorces, no blended families). 

It pleased me when I realized nobody would care and how far we've come from 20 years ago where I don't think I would be comfortable in a professional environment if I were in a same-sex relationship. 

I forget though that I'm in a big city and it's still a little different in the smaller communities, so it's nice to hear that things are changing everywhere.  In 20 years from now I hope we're at a point where no matter the gender of the person and no matter the size of the community, these things don't matter.

« Last Edit: August 16, 2017, 02:07:49 pm by BC_cheque »
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Offline kimmy

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Re: Sex Culture
« Reply #18 on: August 16, 2017, 10:42:52 pm »
I think the reason female same-sex relationships are more socially accepted is because men find the idea of two women together sexually arousing.  I know the word 'patriarchy' is frowned upon these days as non-existent, but the difference in accepting same-sex male relationships is a prime example of how we take a male view of acceptance.

I think this is probably a big part of it... there is a lot of lesbian **** around, mostly because many straight men enjoy it. I think that has normalized the idea of women making out.

As well, I recall seeing, years ago, a bumper sticker that read "I support same-sex marriage, if both chicks are hot."  While I'm sure that was intended as humor, I think that there's probably a lot of truth in it.  I think people probably like the idea of Kristen Stewart and Stella Maxwell getting frisky more than they like the idea of Rosie O'Donnell and Wanda Sykes getting frisky.

I forget though that I'm in a big city and it's still a little different in the smaller communities, so it's nice to hear that things are changing everywhere.  In 20 years from now I hope we're at a point where no matter the gender of the person and no matter the size of the community, these things don't matter.

I think people here might be less likely to be "out", and as a result fewer people actually know that they have gay people in their circle of friends or acquaintances. I am very cautious about who I let know. This is still redneck country.  My s.o. (maybe former s.o. now) lives in Vancouver most of the time, and she's pretty handsy in public, which I'm not completely comfortable with it. I was never big into public displays when I was with men either, so maybe it's just personality... but I think that maybe being in Vancouver gives her a feeling of comfort with it that I don't feel here.

 -k

Offline kimmy

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Re: Sex Culture
« Reply #19 on: August 16, 2017, 11:12:13 pm »
I think it's becoming more and more accepted.  My daughter is gay.  I knew long before she came out to me when she was 15.

How did you know?  Was it intuition, or were there concrete things that you saw in her that told you?  This is interesting to me.


For me, there was never a Eureka moment...  I knew I was physically attracted to women from the time I was old enough to understand what physical attraction feels like. I had lots of opportunity to experiment as a teenager, but never thought of that as anything more than just play.  I guess for me the Eureka moment wasn't accepting that I felt attracted to women, it was in deciding that it didn't have to be just play, it could be more.

I was in a relationship with a wonderful man for a long time, and I think I could do that again if I met the right man. But that's not what I want right now. I didn't really even start sorting this stuff out until I was 24, and 10 years later I'm still not completely sure where I'm at.

I hope you meet someone wonderful, kimmy  :)

Thanks :)

 -k

Offline msj

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Re: Sex Culture
« Reply #20 on: August 17, 2017, 12:36:14 am »
With the male on male sex scenes in "American Gods" and "Ozark" where even I (who was caught with smuggled Hustler magazines when I was 9 years old) can watch it is likely a sign that the times are a changing.

But yeah, I'd rather watch women getting it on, but "AG" and "Ozark" are much better stories with the gay sex in them than without.

ETA: for those wondering about this

https://moviepilot.com/p/american-gods-gay-sex-explicit-not-****/4270422
« Last Edit: August 17, 2017, 01:09:34 am by msj »
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Offline MH

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Re: Sex Culture
« Reply #21 on: August 17, 2017, 06:16:58 am »
I have a hard enough time with setting up people that
I don't do this anymore.

I am glad for your experience with your coworker.

Offline John Mark Taylor

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Re: Sex Culture
« Reply #22 on: August 17, 2017, 09:11:16 am »
With the male on male sex scenes in "American Gods" and "Ozark" where even I (who was caught with smuggled Hustler magazines when I was 9 years old) can watch it is likely a sign that the times are a changing.

But yeah, I'd rather watch women getting it on, but "AG" and "Ozark" are much better stories with the gay sex in them than without.

ETA: for those wondering about this

https://moviepilot.com/p/american-gods-gay-sex-explicit-not-****/4270422

Ozark is excellent.  I'm sad I have to wait a whole year for more of it.

Offline Poonlight Graham

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Re: Sex Culture
« Reply #23 on: August 17, 2017, 07:42:35 pm »
I want to have sex with thousands of hot women.  Not at the same time mind you. 

Now back to our regular scheduled programming.
"The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth"  - African proverb

Offline BC_cheque

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Re: Sex Culture
« Reply #24 on: August 17, 2017, 09:13:59 pm »
My s.o. (maybe former s.o. now) lives in Vancouver most of the time, and she's pretty handsy in public, which I'm not completely comfortable with it. I was never big into public displays when I was with men either, so maybe it's just personality... but I think that maybe being in Vancouver gives her a feeling of comfort with it that I don't feel here.

 -k

So you're consistent.  I've never had issues holding the hand of the men I've dated, but with women I was more reserved.  Well, unless we were in a gay-friendly area/bar and it didn't seem out of place. 

But now I don't take it for granted in my current relationship.  For a lot of people it probably doesn't even cross their mind how such a simple little gesture is actually a privilege, but I'm often well aware of it when I hold my husband's in public.

Offline BC_cheque

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Re: Sex Culture
« Reply #25 on: August 17, 2017, 09:35:17 pm »
With the male on male sex scenes in "American Gods" and "Ozark" where even I (who was caught with smuggled Hustler magazines when I was 9 years old) can watch it is likely a sign that the times are a changing.

But yeah, I'd rather watch women getting it on, but "AG" and "Ozark" are much better stories with the gay sex in them than without.

ETA: for those wondering about this

https://moviepilot.com/p/american-gods-gay-sex-explicit-not-****/4270422

I just wrote a response to you but deleted it by mistake, grrr, I'll try and rephrase it...

That was a very graphic sex scene, gay or straight.  I don't remember seeing anything equivalent on TV for a straight sex scene.  Good for them.

Also, I remember reading some criticism from gay men when Brokeback Mountain came out that the way the sex was always depicted from behind is actually the way straight people think gay men have sex when in fact, more often than not, they have missionary sex just like heterosexuals.

So in the beginning of the scene in your link when they started off from behind I groaned remembering that criticism, but they even changed it up to get the true, non-hetero depiction of gay sex.

Good job director!

Offline Poonlight Graham

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Re: Sex Culture
« Reply #26 on: August 17, 2017, 10:55:30 pm »
Men are threatened by gay men.  It's just tough guy masculine BS, macho culture, whatever you want to call it.  It makes men uncomfortable, men are "supposed" to be tough, and "tough" men don't want to even accept the chance that they might enjoy a gay encounter...that's a threat to their whole identity, and for a hetero man to show approval of gay men (in hetero men's minds) there's a fear by many hetero men that this will make other people question their hetero-ness or masculinity.  I feel bad for gay men, they're made to feel like they're lesser men by other men or even women sometimes.
"The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth"  - African proverb

Offline bcsapper

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Re: Sex Culture
« Reply #27 on: August 17, 2017, 11:14:53 pm »
My daughter was gay.  She was in a relationship with a woman for years, and my wife and I were famous in their gay circle as the parents who didn't give a toss.  We weren't against it, and we weren't supportive.  We just didn't care.

Anyway, it turns out she was bi.  Now she's engaged to a man.  We still don't care. 

He's just as nice as her girlfriend was.
Time for bed said Zebedee...

Offline BC_cheque

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Re: Sex Culture
« Reply #28 on: August 17, 2017, 11:31:44 pm »
This is going to sound awful and anti-man, but whatever...

I think I would actually prefer it if either of my daughters turned out gay.

Offline bcsapper

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Re: Sex Culture
« Reply #29 on: August 18, 2017, 07:51:11 am »
I suppose it's only as awful as saying you would prefer it if they didn't.
Time for bed said Zebedee...