Author Topic: Personal Stuff  (Read 17398 times)

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Offline MH

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Re: Personal Stuff
« Reply #900 on: October 01, 2019, 06:55:12 am »
U R GAY   :D :D :D

Offline kimmy

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Re: Personal Stuff
« Reply #901 on: October 01, 2019, 10:17:20 am »
U R GAY   :D :D :D

I'm still not 100% sure she is.  She once told me she was flexitarian, and most of her relationships have been with men, and I could imagine her meeting some guy and dumping me.  I'm beginning to understand some of the issues bi people face.  People will label you based on your last relationship (or your next one) and not fully believe what you're doing right now is real.  And if she does dump me for some guy, I will probably sit there like a bitter **** and say "I knew she was straight all along. I knew I was just a phase for her."

 -k
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Offline ?Impact

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Re: Personal Stuff
« Reply #902 on: October 01, 2019, 12:25:12 pm »
I'm still not 100% sure she is.  She once told me she was flexitarian, and most of her relationships have been with men, and I could imagine her meeting some guy and dumping me.

Would you be any more bitter if she dumped you for another woman?

While the sex might be different, is the emotional relationship any different between a straight and gay relationship? If she has had both, it might make an interesting conversation.

Offline kimmy

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Re: Personal Stuff
« Reply #903 on: October 03, 2019, 10:29:10 am »
Would you be any more bitter if she dumped you for another woman?

That's a good question.  Being dumped always sucks.  If she left me for a woman, I'd probably feel jealousy and resentment... "what has she got that I haven't got" etc.  If she dumped me to go back to a heterosexual relationship, I think I'd feel a sense that I'd been used... that it was "just a phase" for her, or that she was just curious or experimenting or that sort of thing, that it was never real for her, that I'd been lied to.  They'd both suck, I don't know which would hurt more.

While the sex might be different, is the emotional relationship any different between a straight and gay relationship? If she has had both, it might make an interesting conversation.

For me, when I was with a man who I really cared for, he was 12 years older than me and he had this guardian, mentor, protector aura that I found really attractive.  He was a rock, an anchor, a fortress, (insert other cliches here), a calm and reassuring presence in what was otherwise a pretty confusing time for me.  I really did love him, and spent a long time trying to convince myself that I was heterosexual as a result.

I've never felt that same sort of dynamic with women I've been involved with. Or other men I've dated either, for that matter. I don't know how much of it was to do with him being a man, how much was to do with him being older and more emotionally secure, and how much was just his personality.    Some men have qualities that deeply appeal to me, emotionally, that I haven't found in female relationships.  Trying to make generalizations like "men be like this, and women be like that" never works, but I've never met a woman who had that guardian spirit that I felt with my long-time male companion.

 -k
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Offline kimmy

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Re: Personal Stuff
« Reply #904 on: October 14, 2019, 03:25:56 pm »
Kimmy! Kimmy! Fun! Vacation! Yay!

 We're back after a week together, and everything went very smoothly.  We went to the mountains and stayed at a resort overlooking a lake and went hiking and spelunking and relaxed in hot springs. Then to Edmonton, where we went shopping and hiking and stuff.  I briefly touched base with dad. Then on to Calgary to spend some time with her brother and his family.  Even though they live in Calgary, they're actually transplanted Torontoids.  Her brother is a big time corporate accountant of some sort. It was very interesting to hear his thoughts about the Alberta economy ("we're ****"), Canada's overall fiscal situation ("we're ****"), and the federal election ("I'm not a typical Alberta 'Trudeau sucks' kind of guy, but he's so dumb that I can't stand listening to anything he says. It makes me want to bang my head against a wall.")

My girl told me later, "my brother is a really smart, educated guy, so I was impressed that he was listening to what you were saying as if you were actually smart!"  I think she meant it as a compliment, but I'm just not sure.


"I hope this doesn't sound gay, but I think we should live together."
"That's a great idea! We'll save so much money!"
...and we received this advice from multiple sources. I think people are trying to score Cool LGBT-supportive Brother points, Sister-in-law points, or Supportive Dad points, as appropriate.


 -k
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Offline wilber

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Re: Personal Stuff
« Reply #905 on: October 14, 2019, 05:04:19 pm »


My girl told me later, "my brother is a really smart, educated guy, so I was impressed that he was listening to what you were saying as if you were actually smart!"  I think she meant it as a compliment, but I'm just not sure.




Funny.

Quote
...and we received this advice from multiple sources. I think people are trying to score Cool LGBT-supportive Brother points, Sister-in-law points, or Supportive Dad points, as appropriate.


Maybe you are over complicating it and people just wish you well.
"Never trust a man without a single redeeming vice" WSC
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Offline MH

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Re: Personal Stuff
« Reply #906 on: October 14, 2019, 05:56:52 pm »
Yeah... but... FAMILY suggesting you move in ?  That's kind of a d*ck move for a family member to suggest such a thing no ?  I mean, they don't know the details of the situation.

Offline MH

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Re: Personal Stuff
« Reply #907 on: October 19, 2019, 08:55:33 am »
Easy was crying last night, so I picked him up to cuddle him and he head-butted me, so we both fell on the bed screaming (he sleeps in a crib beside our bed).  This turned into a bunch of late night yelling between Joan and I and then crying and now I feel terrible.

The thing I hate is that there's nobody to talk to about this stuff...
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Offline Bubbermiley

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Re: Personal Stuff
« Reply #908 on: October 19, 2019, 11:27:02 am »
Babies are selfish fucks who would never be tolerated if they weren't adorable.
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Offline ?Impact

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Re: Personal Stuff
« Reply #909 on: October 19, 2019, 01:15:02 pm »
Babies are selfish fucks who would never be tolerated if they weren't adorable.

What about 73 year old babies who are anything but adorable?
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Offline the_squid

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Re: Personal Stuff
« Reply #910 on: October 19, 2019, 04:00:53 pm »
 crying babies ....    unheard of.

Offline Omni

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Re: Personal Stuff
« Reply #911 on: October 19, 2019, 04:11:35 pm »
What about 73 year old babies who are anything but adorable?

You mean that one I hear whining every day lately? Seems to waft in from the south?
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Offline the_squid

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Re: Personal Stuff
« Reply #912 on: October 19, 2019, 04:19:13 pm »
You mean that one I hear whining every day lately? Seems to waft in from the south?

Every.   ****.  Thread.

Offline kimmy

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Re: Personal Stuff
« Reply #913 on: October 20, 2019, 01:59:01 pm »
Maybe you are over complicating it and people just wish you well.

I'm sure they do wish us well.  I just can't help feeling that they feel obliged to support us because they don't want to seem intolerant or something like that.  Like, if their sister had started dating some random man, I'm not sure they'd be as enthusiastic.  They might have some reservations and hope that she takes her time and be cautious. Mostly I think her brother and his wife just want her to know that they still love her and that her being in a same-sex relationship hasn't changed anything. Which is wonderful, but I'm not sure they're expressing it in the best way.

I know I'm overthinking this and I should just be grateful that her family aren't a bunch of bigots. They really are super-nice.

 -k
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Offline wilber

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Re: Personal Stuff
« Reply #914 on: October 20, 2019, 02:03:53 pm »
I'm sure they do wish us well.  I just can't help feeling that they feel obliged to support us because they don't want to seem intolerant or something like that.  Like, if their sister had started dating some random man, I'm not sure they'd be as enthusiastic.  They might have some reservations and hope that she takes her time and be cautious. Mostly I think her brother and his wife just want her to know that they still love her and that her being in a same-sex relationship hasn't changed anything. Which is wonderful, but I'm not sure they're expressing it in the best way.

I know I'm overthinking this and I should just be grateful that her family aren't a bunch of bigots. They really are super-nice.

 -k

Maybe. Could also be they just like you and actually do think you are really smart.
"Never trust a man without a single redeeming vice" WSC
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