How so ?
He was gaslighting me in ways big and small for years, and when he met a particular woman, the gaslighting increased exponentially along with verbal abuse, so I had no choice but to realize something was wrong, even if I didn'tknow what, exactly.
I don't know when exactly he decided he wanted to move on, but he had to wait till he found his next love, so he wouldn't be alone, and then he had to arrange it so that I left, rather than him dumping me. This was important for him to retain face with our social group, in which he was sonething of a "name".
Took me a while to figure this all out, at the time it was just confusing and painful (undestatement of the year). Now I feel stupid for falling for him in the first place.
But until the last lady showed up, I did enjoy the poly aspect of our relationshop.
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