Canadian Politics Today

BC_cheque, Gorgeous Graham,

Thank you both so much for your thoughtful and caring replies.  I really do feel better, today; even writing it out helped me to feel a little more in control, and the support offered here added to that.   There are a few things in particular I want to address:

1.  Stress leave - it is an option, but I don't think I want to take that step yet.  Everybody is dealing with 'stuff' in addition to Covid, I'm not alone in that regard.  But if days like yesterday happen too often, it may be the best idea rather than working half-assed, forgetting what I'm doing and losing concentration.

2.  Bullying - we have strong anti-bullying culture in our office, we do not have a 'human resources' and if it became a serious issue, it would probably end up with the union.  My first steps would be to report it to my supervisor.  Because it's out of character for the person involved to do this, I don't want to escalate it to my supervisor. It also happened over email, no yelling involved, so that also is a factor.  But yes, it hurt.  The implication that I make so many mistakes and that this was just another in a long line of mistakes was just particularly devastating.  What I did do was check in with the manager of my department to get feedback about my own work, and she tells me there are no issues, and that in fact she's noticed a definite improvement over the last while, since I've begun getting effective feedback regarding errors.  That has helped.  And again, I know that the person involved is having a very tough time with her mother's illness, lack of personal contact with her due to Covid, and her concern over her father's mental health as a result of all of this.  So, just as I'd like a break for a one-off, I would prefer to give her a break.  If it happens again, I would likely want to address it with her first anyway. If it becomes a pattern, then I would bring it to my supervisor. But this time, I'm giving her a pass due to her own stressors and because it is unusual for her.

3.  I know exercise is an excellent way of reducing stress and depression.  This is something I have to work harder at doing; but it's really hard to get up the will to do much after work when by 4:00 pm I feel so tired I sometimes feel dizzy, and by 7 pm I'm counting the minutes till it's late enough to walk the dog and go to bed.  I'm trying to work in 10 minutes of movement every hour during the work day to address this, and it does help when I do it.  If the Saxenda weight-loss program doesn't address this level of exhaustion, my doctor will send me to a rheumatologist (sp?), since all other fatigue investigations have been done and in all other respects, I'm the most healthy sick person known to medical science.

4.  Being sick from stress/prone to depression seems so weak to me, even though I know it's like having diabetes - it's the way I'm made, and no amount of personal willpower will make it different.

Thanks again, everybody.  You've helped more than you know.