Canadian Politics Today

Not a good day today.  The whole pandemic thing is starting to get to me.  My partner is facing several health issues, one of which could be life-threatening, but we won't know till next week - and maybe not even then. I'm 90% sure it'll be fine, but that 10% that isn't sure is really weighing on me. In the meantime, he's in constant pain, which makes him very moody and difficult to deal with at times, there's lots of things he's just not able to do and so in addition to full-time work, I'm doing a lot of the stuff he used to do and my house is a mess, which I hate.

My job is stressful, which does affect me - but I usually enjoy it anyway because of the support of my colleagues.  Then Tuesday, one of those colleagues (and not really my supervisor, but in a supervisory position over me) took me to task for two mistakes that amounted to around $53.50 - except one error wasn't actually an error - and the other error was for $1.00, most likely a typo.  I know she's going through some tough **** with her parents ill-health and covid, but that really **** hurt because I had to explain twice why I hadn't made an error in the first case and when she finally "got it", she still chewed my ass for the $1. 

Anyway, I'm prone to depression and today I feel barely functional.  I've got a request in for some therapy but I guess they're backed up and their "two-day response" was "We'll get to you as soon as we can".  I'm already on a low dose of anti-depressants, so could maybe get doc to increase those or change them (anti-depressants tend to lose their effectiveness after a while).  But even that would take a few weeks to 'kick-in', and I'm really not sure if I can continue too long like this.   I'm considering contacting doc for stress leave, but that would leave other colleagues having to add my stuff to their already overwhelming workload.

I feel really stuck.  Tried to go for a long walk yesterday cause exercise helps, but the smoke in the air still makes me nauseous.  Not helped by having started Saxenda two weeks ago, which is effective but does lead to an easily upset tummy. Not to mention, in clinical trials, 9 out of 3384 patients had 'worsening depression/suicide ideation' vs 2 of the control group, so maybe I'm among that 0.3%.  Trying to hang on till next week and if the health news is good, that would relieve a lot of pressure, and maybe I'd start feeling better overnight.

So, thought I'd post here cause anonymous internet forum.  Words of wisdom, support and jokes accepted gratefully.