1. That's a red flag for me. People who don't know the basics of office mechanics by that age are no-go. We hire young people and some of the gals engage in that kind of 'club talk' ... saying things like 'girl' and so on ... it's fine but it's not corporate and eventually they seem to drop it. You can be good at your job and rough around the edges but by 50 you're not really supposed to have 'potential'
I feel quite bad about this, because I know that at least some of my antipathy toward this person is based on prejudice. Her style of dress and the way she acts all just scream "trashy" to me, and bring out all sorts of negative feelings associated with that stereotype.
That said, she REALLY IS dumb. Yesterday lost of people took the day off and I ended up having to provide Brenda with all kinds of help, and most of it was help with stuff that anybody with an ounce of brains should have been able to figure out on their own.
"These aren't shipping documents. Fed Ex doesn't need these."
"Well they came out of the printer along with the other Fed Ex documents."
"These are Ed's test reports. They don't have anything to do with shipping."
"So Fed Ex doesn't need those?"
"No. Just the packing list and the pages that say Fed Ex on them."
"Ohhhhh.... those are for Ed?"
"Yes, those are for Ed. These are for the shipment."
"ohhhhh."
"..."
".... Should I give these to Ed?"
"Sure, why don't you go ahead and do that."
"Alright, I'll go do that..."
"..."
"HEY ED HERE ARE YOUR PRINT-OUTS HAHA I ALMOST SHIPPED THEM TO AUSTRALIA BY MISTAKE HAHA THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN PRETTY FUNNY HAHA"
She's just soooooo ...
2. I should get one of those. My new drug is Monster Energy Drink No Sugar. I drink one at 6 pm to get me to bedtime at 10 pm... 
Remember, the first step is admitting you have a problem.
-k