Author Topic: Personal Stuff  (Read 43326 times)

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Offline MH

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Re: Personal Stuff
« Reply #480 on: December 05, 2018, 06:20:00 am »
Me and my new friend went to the Christmas Tree lighting and winter street market on Saturday.  The idea was to have a real date and not just go home and make out all night.  But that's pretty much what happened anyway.   I mean, I'm not complaining. It's not a bad problem to have. I'd just like to build other aspects of this relationship too.

This sounds like a problem you had before ?

Are you really hot stuff, objectively, as you really seem to sweep these ladies of yours off their feet ?  What do you think you bring to this relationship ?   

Each month has a boring, badly drawn cartoon, plus the retarded little leprechaun telling an incredibly stupid joke.   We only have one month left of it, but I kind of feel like doing something awful to the calendar anyway. I want to throw it in the paper shredder, or do something horrible to the leprechaun's face. It's just such a piece of crap calendar.  I'd like to find some other shitty 2018 calendar and replace the Murphy's Law calendar for the last 3 weeks of the year just to see if anybody notices.

If we get another Murphy's Law calendar for 2019, I am definitely going to do something horrible to it. 


That poster is horrible.  We did an office move and now we're lumped in with non-IT people, ie. white, suburban mom-of-teenager sits beside me instead of smelly fat Indian man.  Believe it or not, I prefer the latter.  Is it me or does every middle-aged milquetoast Ontario white woman act like one of the guys in the Cathys sketch in the Kids in the Hall ?  Fuuhhhhhque...  Anyway, she's nice so I can't complain.  But stereotyped behaviour really makes me come up with clever responses in my head.

(Forgot to mention that it looks like Joan and I won't be taking time off from our performing after all.  We play music together and have decided to continue, as the shows are infrequent.  I did do a theatre show last night and she brought baby and all was good.)

My chief minion comes to my cubicle pretty often, and unfortunately she is a **** chain smoker and she smells like a human ash-tray. Today she came into my cubicle after her smoke break and reeked especially bad and it triggered my asthma and I was coughing and wheezing and convulsing and my eyes were watering and she's like OMG, leaning over me trying to help which is just making it worse by making me inhale even more of her cigarette smoke aura.  I survived, but for a while I was in real danger.

Wow.   We have a 'no smells' policy in our office, and separate cubicles for smokers' coats.

Later on Old Economy Steve came in and said "Question for ya:" and started talking, and his breath is so awful it made my whole cubicle smell like a rotting dead animal carcass. It was pretty bad. It didn't cause me to have an asthma attack, but I did feel strong nausea for a while. I should get a gigantic fan for my cubicle.

A can of old school aerosol lilac scent.... "Sorry - excuse me ..." Interrupt, then spray.  The purpose is to send a message more than a smell.

And later Boring Stories Bob came to my cubicle.  He didn't smell like cigarettes and his breath was fresh and minty, but he went on for like 15 minutes.  For a while I was listening, then I was like, ok, I'm pretending to listen while I work, and then after a while I was not even pretending to listen while I worked and he just kept going and going.  I'm not sure if a giant fan would help with this situation.

20 years ago we had one of those.  "Hey Mike.  I got some jokes... Did you hear the one about the guy with Aids ?"  He tried to put himself off as almost an academic in his knowledge and told these shitty inappropriate jokes.  We saw his car once and it was like a 1970s orange Trans Am with an eagle on the hood.  Yes, a 15 year old muscle car really stood out in downtown Toronto.  The last time I saw him, it was his picture on the back of a programming language text book that everyone was buying so I guess somehow he made it.

I don't even remember his name, but maybe it was Tom.  The way we dealt with him was when he was in someone's cubicle for 3 minutes, the unaffected persons would call that person's cubicle and  "Sorry, I have to take this" and Tom would go.
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