I read this thinking the two stories were going to tie together somehow with old dude seeing the flirting and exploding. My friends told me of a mutual acquaintance who melted down when she saw them kissing. I guess she didn't know about them, and her reaction was - get this - alternately crying and laughing. I guess her world split in two there....
I find this hilarious for some reason.
First flag in your post "One of the bartenders I see a lot " ... is your drinking ok ? I am 99% sober these days (I had a beer on Thursday that was already poured for me) so I don't want to be one of those people but take care.
Second flag is that you are still getting a lot of action for a small down gal with limited prospects, so good for you.
My drinking is frequent, but moderate. A couple of days each week I stop for a beer or two and some food after work. I have a handful of favorite bars and kind of alternate amongst them. As for getting a lot of action... I'm actually not getting any action right now. I fear I may turn into an angry incel.
For the old dude, maybe you haven't had to deal with this before. If not, then you have to start developing some tools to deal with this type of thing. I suspect you are valued by your boss. I would go to him/her and find some kind of way to get them on your side with respect to things impacting you. You need to take this situation as a challenge to learn some new social tools in the workplace, IMO. What are your boss' motivations ? Use those as leverage to explain why your work environment is now going to cause you to not meet your boss' goals. My unasked for 2 cents...
The new guy has known my boss and most of my co-workers for a very long time. They've been friends since the 1980s. So I would be on thin ice going to my boss to complain about him.
The second is that I don't have anything specific to complain about. I'm not sure how annoyed I'm actually should actually be. I can't go to my boss and say "his jokes are stale" or "I have a vague sense that he doesn't respect me, even though he hasn't actually said anything concrete." I think mostly my antipathy right now is just that I have to go through the whole process again... prove my value to yet another stranger. Probably over the upcoming days and weeks I will get accustomed to working with him, and get him accustomed to working with me and set boundaries and so on. Many co-workers who rubbed me the wrong way at first became friends later. I have to assume that this will turn out the same.
Haven't been through anything like this before? My whole life has been like this.
As for the second person, it sounds like 100% come-ons to me but maybe women act like this with each other and not with men. Not that I have been great with signs myself.... good luck...
This gives me hope. I will see how things go.
-k
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