Holy.... now THAT is honest.
Yeah, Joan and I are feeling the pressures of being parents and I have a full understanding of what the vows of monogamy mean.
I'm actually fascinated with the topic, and mostly how people just kind of avoid it...
Honestly, it's mostly the flirting. It's exciting and addictive. I don't think I really want an affair, I just like imagining it. There's somebody I see from time to time who has dropped pretty strong hints that she is 100% DTF if I want to and having the "yes" is not nearly as exciting as the "maybe" was. This is somebody who if I was single I'd be seriously interested in... but I don't think I could drop what I have with Lindsey for a random fling with somebody I barely know.
I sometimes think back on this post:
2. OMG what. I never thought a gay person would have worse gaydar than me ! No wonder you end up converting straights.... (admittedly successfully tho)
The truth is that no, I never end up converting straights. At best I have ended up as a Limited-Time Trial Offer for a few bi-curious women.
One thing about me is that I'm pretty vain, and I tend to think that when I notice women checking me out, it's sexual interest. They might be thinking "I like her hat" or "who wears suspenders in 2023???" but my brain always goes straight to "she's into me." I am of course rather attractive. I wouldn't say movie star attractive, but at least Network TV attractive. So being checked out, by men and by women, is pretty common for me. And while being checked out by men is something I tend to ignore, being checked out by women is pretty intoxicating. And the flirting, the eye contact and body language and all of the non-verbal stuff, I love that stuff. Sometimes they look away and never look back. Sometimes they smile back, or blush and play shy.
One of the women I think about a lot is the manager of a fairly major establishment near me. She's very pretty and has these big blue eyes, and when I go to her restaurant I often glance up and find her looking at me with her big blue eyes and this Mona Lisa smile. She has worked there for maybe two years, and in that time we've talked exactly once. She told me a white lie to impress me, we made some very awkward small talk, things got blushy and giggly very quickly, and she high-tailed it away very quickly to get back to work. It was delightful. It was so good. I still see her at least once a week, we still never talk, and she still makes eyes at me and gives me that cute smile.
The thing is, I know that most of the ones who do interact non-verbally with me aren't interested in sex. Theymight be maybe curious or intrigued, but mostly I think they're straight women who are just enjoying the interaction in the same way that I am, enjoying the validation and the thrill of interacting with a stranger, without the inherent danger that comes with playing these sorts of games with a man.
-k
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