Yikes, take care of yourself man. I am no professional, but that sounds like a desperate cry for help. Hopefully you have people close that you can reach out to.
Well, not a cry for help, no. I'm treated for it. I didn't mean to sound so fatalistic. But nothing is perfect, after all. It's better than it was for a while, actually. It's not as bad as that, now but years ago it was pretty iffy.
What really sux is that, among the general public, there's a complete ignorance of the issue. And of course, less resources than there used to be for the mentally ill. After all, we're such a small portion of the population that there's no votes in it, regrettably. (I was thinking of starting a PAC that could lobby the government for better resources/less ignorance, but that's probably way beyond my reach.)
Thank you all for your kind words, by the way, very nice of you. Not everyone is that compassionate.
I think the general public needs more awareness of this so the politicians can throw a bit more money/resources into it.