...and so I said "I'm sorry, Admiral, but if there isn't any vermouth in it, you're not drinking a Martini, you're just drinking cold gin." Well! As you can imagine, he was nonplussed, to say the least! He adjusts his monocle and says "My dear Kim. If you insist on polluting a perfectly fine beverage with that Italian rubbish, I think we will have to part company." And so it seemed it would come to pass. But at that moment, who should arrive but our mutual acquaintance, Sheikh Ahmed al-Shabazz! With three of his favorite girls and a whole suitcase full of
**** and Yankee currency! Needless to say, the Admiral completely forgot about vermouth, and things got decidedly festive from there on. The next thing I knew, I awoke with a pounding headache, wearing the Admiral's hat and monocle, and found no sign of him or the Sheikh anywhere! I found one of the girls and stirred her awake, and said "what in the blazes happened? Where are we?" "This is the Sheikh's penthouse," she replied. "Good heavens," I told her. "How did we get to Monaco? I don't remember leaving the lounge!" "Silly!" she laughed, "that was three days ago! You really don't remember any of it?"
But yeah, so long story short I was looking at the cocktails menu, and of all the so-called "martinis", only a couple had gin, and none at all had any vermouth.
-k