Author Topic: Drunk Culture  (Read 2852 times)

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Offline kimmy

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Re: Drunk Culture
« Reply #150 on: April 15, 2020, 01:36:35 am »

“...and that's how I got the nickname Sexual Tyrannosaurus,” I explained to the Admiral and Sheikh Ahmed al-Shabbaz, who were listening with rapt attention. I beckoned the bartender for another beer and continued my story.

“So anyway, there we were: Fukamo Joe Tanaka and the Irate Eight. It was just before Fuckface McGillicuddy got pregnant and married a Pacific Islander named... Prince Pelakomoko-Kua I think was his name. I forget what his island was called, but it has a volcano. When Fuckface left--”

“My dear,” the Admiral interrupted. “I appreciate a war story as much as anyone, but I thought we were to discuss our problem in the Caymans.”

“Yeah yeah,” I replied, and took a deep gulp of my Seaport Vanilla Stout. “I was just getting to that. So when Fuckface left, we became the Seething Seven. Not long after that, Frenchie and Dutchie left to chase their dream of starting an authentic Belgian waffle house. So then it was Fukamo Joe and the Furious Five... later Fukamo Joe and the Fuckin' Mad Foursome, and eventually Fukamo Joe and the Angry Bunch. Of course by that time--”

“It sounds like a surly group, to be sure,” Sheikh Ahmed al-Shabbaz observed.

“Joe was always pissed off,” I agreed. “Fukamo-- rhymes with Shoe-ka-mo, not Book-a-mo or Suck-a-mo. He'd get so mad when people called up and asked for Fvck-a-mo Joe-- and of course when Joe was mad, he made sure everybody else was mad too.  So anyway, we're pinned down by enemy fire from a sniper tower. Joe says to Hellcat Meg, he says 'Meg, I need you to get to that bunker, squeeze through that ventilation grate, get to the electrical room, and turn off the power to that search light.' It was dangerous, but Meg was the only one who could fit into the vent. So she  says 'Yes sir! Right away sir!' She turns around and slams face-first into the breech-block of The Newf's bazooka. And falls face first in the mud.  Splat!”

“Oh my,” the Sheikh sympathized.

“You're so drunk you can barely sit upright, my girl,” the Admiral added.

“I did not,” I protested. “So Meg gets up on her hands and knees, barfs, and says 'my keys, I can't find my keys.'  So Joe gets her to a sitting position and gives her his canteen. She washes the barf out of her mouth says 'I don't want to go to school today, mommy.' She's got that glassy unfocused stare we'd seen before.  This wasn't Meg's first visit from the concussion fairy, so Joe had been reading about concussion safety. He holds up three fingers and says 'Hellcat! How many fingers am I holding up?' and she says 'Yes sir! Right away sir!'  And Joe says, 'Close enough. Go get em, soldier!' and she gets up and says 'I'm gonna go get 'em chief!' and runs right into the breech-block of Leprechaun Shawn's recoil-less rifle. And falls face first in the mud.  Splat!”

“Oh dear,” the Sheikh remarked, sympathetically.

“So she's on her hands and knees, saying 'I can't find my car, where did I park my car?' over and over. Joe runs over and sits her down and gives her his canteen. She washes the barf out of her mouth and says 'Did I get 'em chief?'  and Joe says 'Yep, soldier, you got 'em good.'   And she says 'Oh good, I get a free cookie,' and falls asleep. So that was concussion number eight for Meg. Concussion number nine came a couple weeks after that, after we'd moved on to the island of--”

“Kimberly,” the Sheikh interrupted. “Although I fear we may never get to the Caymans issue, I must ask... your friend Megan... after all of these concussions... what became of her? Is she alright?”

“Oh yeah,” I replied, and paused for another gulp of my Vanilla Stout. “Yeah, she's doing good. She's a Member of Parliament now.”

 * * * * *


Yep so tonight I drank most of a 1.5L bottle of Copper Moon "Moonlight Harvest" Malbec.  It was pretty good, I guess. I'm not a red wine expert, but this seemed good. Yep.  Go buy some. Get drunk.

Imma go fall down now.

 -k
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Offline the_squid

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Re: Drunk Culture
« Reply #151 on: April 15, 2020, 05:34:56 pm »
Quote
Yep so tonight I drank most of a 1.5L bottle of Copper Moon "Moonlight Harvest" Malbec.

Ick...  I don’t even think they’re VQA, which means they probably bought cheap grapes from California to make this  wine. 

 I’m a wine snob. I avoid the “value brands”.



Happily, tomorrow I will be getting my “rum-like” product (it’s not made from sugarcane) from a local distillery along with the hand sanitizer they’ve distilled. 




Offline the_squid

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Re: Drunk Culture
« Reply #152 on: April 15, 2020, 05:51:05 pm »
Squid daiquiri:

2oz rum-like product
1/4 oz maple syrup
1 oz lime juice

Shake the **** out of it and pour it over a giant ice cube.

Offline wilber

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Re: Drunk Culture
« Reply #153 on: April 15, 2020, 07:50:46 pm »
We have been buying Copper Moon in a box as a staple for a couple of years now. Malbec and Pino Grigio. Normally we make an annual winery run to the southern Okanagan for some of the good stuff but that might not happen this year.
"Never trust a man without a single redeeming vice" WSC
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Offline kimmy

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Re: Drunk Culture
« Reply #154 on: April 18, 2020, 03:31:16 pm »
Ick...  I don’t even think they’re VQA, which means they probably bought cheap grapes from California to make this  wine. 

 I’m a wine snob. I avoid the “value brands”.


I'm pretty sure that VQA mostly means that you've gone through an expensive and exasperating certification program.  One of my favorite local wineries is Silver Sage at Oliver, who aren't VQA, and make wonderful wine.

 -k
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Offline Gorgeous Graham

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Re: Drunk Culture
« Reply #155 on: April 18, 2020, 04:23:41 pm »
i wonder if the drinky drink amongst the population has increased during isolation.  Or reduced due to more difficulty getting the drink drink?  The drunks are very resourceful at getting the drinky drink, so i'd bet it has went up.

I wonder if 9 months from now we'll see another baby boom?  Or just a massive abortion-fest?
"The economy has been relatively strong but Trudeau has chosen to run deficits year after year & has said will continue to do so well into the future.  This means we'll be in a worse & more vulnerable financial position when a recession hits when we HAVE to run deficits again." - Me, Oct. 3, 2019

Offline wilber

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Re: Drunk Culture
« Reply #156 on: April 18, 2020, 05:14:27 pm »
I'm pretty sure that VQA mostly means that you've gone through an expensive and exasperating certification program.  One of my favorite local wineries is Silver Sage at Oliver, who aren't VQA, and make wonderful wine.

 -k

Among other things, VQA means they are made using grapes 100% grown by that winery. There aren’t enough grapes grown in the Okanagan to satisfy demand so many wineries produce non VQA wines using imported grapes as well as VQA wines.Silver Sage certainly does make VQA wines.
"Never trust a man without a single redeeming vice" WSC
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Offline msj

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Re: Drunk Culture
« Reply #157 on: April 18, 2020, 10:43:59 pm »
We have been buying Copper Moon in a box as a staple for a couple of years now. Malbec and Pino Grigio. Normally we make an annual winery run to the southern Okanagan for some of the good stuff but that might not happen this year.

You can get Desert Hills Red Cactus in a box now for about $10 per bottle!

https://www.deserthills.ca/Wines/All-Wines
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Offline MH

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Re: Drunk Culture
« Reply #158 on: April 19, 2020, 09:16:57 am »
I am glad that you guys have alcohol in your lives, literally and figuratively.  Take it easy though.

I am actually watching church this morning... In French.
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Offline kimmy

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Re: Drunk Culture
« Reply #159 on: April 20, 2020, 10:25:57 pm »
I am glad that you guys have alcohol in your lives, literally and figuratively.  Take it easy though.

I have definitely been "self-medicating".  I don't think I'm going to make it through this thing sober.

I am actually watching church this morning... In French.

While sober?   ???

 -k
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Offline MH

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Re: Drunk Culture
« Reply #160 on: April 21, 2020, 06:59:24 am »
Of course.  I barely drink.

Edibles are now a thing in our house.  Is this thread drift?  ???
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Offline the_squid

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Re: Drunk Culture
« Reply #161 on: April 21, 2020, 09:45:56 pm »
G&T with mint and basil

squeeze 1/4 lime
muddle with basil and mint leaves
LOTS of ice
2+oz good gin
top with tonic H2O



or, for  a good "value" gin:


Offline Granny

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Re: Drunk Culture
« Reply #162 on: April 22, 2020, 08:21:05 pm »
Squid daiquiri:

2oz rum-like product
1/4 oz maple syrup
1 oz lime juice

Shake the **** out of it and pour it over a giant ice cube.

Maple syrup and lime ... hmm ... must try with tequila.

Offline the_squid

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Re: Drunk Culture
« Reply #163 on: April 22, 2020, 08:28:53 pm »
Maple syrup and lime ... hmm ... must try with tequila.

Throw in some triple sec and you’ll have a sweeter margarita.

Offline Granny

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Re: Drunk Culture
« Reply #164 on: April 22, 2020, 08:34:06 pm »
I am glad that you guys have alcohol in your lives, literally and figuratively.  Take it easy though.

I am actually watching church this morning... In French.

Thanks for dropping in to the drunk culture thread.

I'm glad that you have church in your life, but take it easy.
: - D