He's not gonna go to jail.
I sure hope you're wrong about that.
There is a good chance he will die of a cheeseburger-induced heart attack before he is convicted. And I know that even if he does go to jail it will probably be a minimum security facility. But hey, at the very least:
- Him trying to defend himself still provides some satisfaction, even if his conviction ends up being something minimal like home confinement
- A conviction is still an embarrassment to him
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