Canadian Politics Today

It would be interesting to know somebody who is trans, to learn from their perspective.

I've known 2 well enough to talk to beyond "hi, how are you".  Both were male-to-female, one was attracted to women and the other was attracted to men.  One changed later in life, after serving in the military and the other changed in her late teens/early 20s.

The most difficult part was the acceptance.  For the older woman, she had to accept herself first - military duty was at least partly an attempt to prove her maleness, a desire to conform in a very obvious way.  Once she'd made the change, she was able to find partners among other lesbians, although at the time I knew her, she wasn't with anyone. 

The other, because she was that much younger, found self-acceptance easier in part because there was more awareness generally and her parents supported her.  But what was extremely difficult for her was acceptance from men once they found out she'd once been male.

For them both, belonging and acceptance within society was important, as it is for most humans.  I think people who generally fall in with the norms of society don't quite get how much of a drive it is for humans to conform; for them, it is effortless and natural to fit in and they seek ways to differentiate themselves in some small way and congratulate themselves on being unique.   For those who really are very, very different it's a real challenge to admit and pursue their own true identity puts them at odds with 99% of the group and that's a very difficult thing to do.  That's why it's so laughable when someone says "Oh, teenagers are just making a choice to be gay/trans, to follow a trend - they're just looking for attention", while kids commit suicide because they feel so unacceptable because of their difference.